The time has come! At 2:05 PM Saturday August 16th, the horde will descend from the Blue Monolith!
As you know, our telepathic radio zombie attraktor signal renders zombies mostly harmless, making them crave duct tape instead of human flesh. The only way you would become one of the mob would be if you:
- Put a small duct tape ‘X’ where zombies can see it (don’t wear anything you value)
- Intercept the mob somewhere along the route (at towers or RED areas marked on the map)
Other effects of the attraktor include:
- The mob has no leaders, only a map and these guidelines.
- Zombies don’t get blood on innocent bystanders or their things.
- Zombies leave private property reasonably soon after being asked.
- Zombies are responsible for their own actions and keep fellow zombies in line.
Those who which to document the gruesome eradication should make an attempt to attach the tag/keyword “eatbrains” within the meta data of any media posted to the internet. If you are still in the city during the attack, tune into the Twitter stream which is updated live with information about the whereabouts of the undead vermin horde crawling through the streets of our fine San Francisco.
Once we have collected all the zombies in the area, they will be guided though the “Gate of Eradication” where our Positransic Beam will incinerate undead flesh. Unfortunately we haven’t had time to test this technology on undead humans, but lab results were very promising.