I hope this communique finds you well. I also hope to God and high heaven that  you remembered to add reactor fuel to the kotsdrodenikel shield generator last October.

If you have not, my calculations show they will be growing weaker until they fail catastrophically some time in July 2011. I know these operational matters have a way of being overlooked in economic crisis, but surely your civic leaders are familiar with the old saying “if reactor fuel ain’t found, ther’ell be zombies all-around!”.

I’m glad you have been convinced. Until fate thrusts us once again into proximity I remain your humble servant.

Now citizen, do your part to curtail the zombie apocalypse!

Send Mayor Newsom a message to show your support.

This Will Not Do!

The Eatbrains team will descend upon this freak show with a fury unknown in the post-deluvian era!

This October: none will be safe.

See you in your full glory at 4PM tomorrow (Wednesday) – follow the red path outlined in the MAP starting with Marker A. Human observers with cameras will be following our movements! Walk responsibly and abide by the undead rules of conduct.

Link to more info.

Possible Suspects by Steve Rhodes

Photo evidence has been flooding the internet tubes. We may have found evidence of sabotage, perhaps someone did not want our zombie eradication efforts to succeed.

A suspicious character wearing a Guy Fawkes mask was seen fiddling with our positransic beam generator just before the failure. Any information leading to his apprehension will be greatly rewarded.

More photos tagged “Eatbrains”

This video may hold the answer

We are researching what may have caused the failure. If you have photo or video documentation that might help us, please send links to mob[at]eatbrains(dot)com. Tag your photos with “eatbrains” and “eatbrains08″. We will release our findings in a couple days.

Thank you good citizens, your cooperation makes great things possible.

Click here for a larger map

The time has come! At 2:05 PM Saturday August 16th, the horde will descend from the Blue Monolith!

As you know, our telepathic radio zombie attraktor signal renders zombies mostly harmless, making them crave duct tape instead of human flesh. The only way you would become one of the mob would be if you:

1. Put a small duct tape ‘X’ where zombies can see it (don’t wear anything you value)
2. Intercept the mob somewhere along the route (at towers or RED areas marked on the map)

Other effects of the attraktor include:

• The mob has no leaders, only a map and these guidelines.
• Zombies don’t get blood on innocent bystanders or their things.
• Zombies leave private property reasonably soon after being asked.
• Zombies are responsible for their own actions and keep fellow zombies in line.

Those who which to document the gruesome eradication should make an attempt to attach the tag/keyword “eatbrains” within the meta data of any media posted to the internet. If you are still in the city during the attack, tune into the Twitter stream which is updated live with information about the whereabouts of the undead vermin horde crawling through the streets of our fine San Francisco.

Once we have collected all the zombies in the area, they will be guided though the “Gate of Eradication” where our Positransic Beam will incinerate undead flesh. Unfortunately we haven’t had time to test this technology on undead humans, but lab results were very promising.

And now we pause for a moment to remember one of own who was overcome by undead in Vienna due to confusion over the metric system.