I’m sorry, I have failed you all. We sucessfully funneled zombies to union square, but their numbers were too great. From there they went on to spread chaos all over San Francisco. Our friends at LaugingSquid.com have compiled many photos.

I lost track of the horde as they entered the subway system.
Who knows where they may resurface next!

May 25th, 6pm. No need to dress up, the zombies have plenty of spare blood.

Our zombie containment team has placed special radio transmitters that interfere with zombie’s sense of direction, so that we can funnel them down market to union square where, g_d willing we can neutralize the threat. See map below.

These radio waves also have the following effects on zombies:

1. Zombies will loose the sense of smell. In fact, the only thing they can sense is Duct tape. If you are wearing duct tape on your torso, the mob will attack you, ruin your clothes, eat your brains.
2. Zombies will not get blood on innocent bystanders or their things.
3. Zombies will leave private property reasonably soon after being asked.
4. Zombies who don’t exhibit these behaviors will be beaten into shape by their fellow horde.

^Click for map

• Market and Sansome, N. corner. 6pm. Don’t all show up here at once, stand along the route.
• Right on Geary.
• Union Square at 6:30 sharp. If you haven’t been attacked yet, you should be.
• We will either successfully neutralize the mob, or it will continue all over town.

Friends, It is time to ring the alarms! Zombies are coming! Email everyone you know so they can stay out of harm’s way!

As the date draws near it becomes undeniably clear that a zombie hoard will reach downtown San Francisco on Friday, May 25th around 6pm. This is unfortunately at the same time as the Critical Mass bike ride. They must be notified of the impending danger, for the love of all that is holy!

By Wednesday I will be able to publish detailed information about the route the undead will likely take, projected from topographic and demographic information of the area. It seems that high traffic shopping districts are most attractive to these soulless ghouls.

You (and your loved ones who email mob@eatbrains.com) will receive further details as soon as it is safe to release them.

Do not despair, together we are strong!
– Zombie Wrangler, Containment Specialist

Something sinister is brewing in San Francisco. Stay tuned for further updates if you value your life.